My hilarious and not-so hilarious journey through the struggles of infertility
Monday, April 11, 2011
This is a 'why me?' pity post, but dammit, I need to vent!! I have been trying to process this all day and can't get it out of my mind, so may as well put it on paper...er, computer screen?
Last year my cousin (on my Mom's side) and her husband decided to start trying to get pregnant, and even though she was over 35, she got pregnant within 3 months of trying. My first "Urgh!! Seriously??" That alone was a tough pill to swallow, but I eventually got used to it. So she just had her baby girl last Friday and I heard today from my Mom that they decided to name her Honey Daniella Skye but they are going to call her Daniella. She is apparently be named after my Uncle Danny who died suddenly of a heart attack last July, apparently the weekend this baby was conceived. Cue the 2nd: "Urgh!! Seriously??"
Now, here are my issues with this: my Uncle is on my Dad's side and though he was really good to my cousin, they had only met a handful of times throughout her life, so I think it is a bit weird to not only just give her middle name to tribute my uncle, but have it be her first name. But my real issue is that Hubs and I were going to do that: honour my Uncle with naming our baby (if we ever friggin have one!!) after him. Obviously we can't do it now - that would look ridiculous! And for the rest of our lives, everyone is going to go on and on about how what a nice gesture that was of my cousin and how this baby is named after someone so wonderful. And for the rest of my life, I'll be totally pissed that my thunder was taken away from me.
I am quite sure that I am overreacting about this...I have a tendency to analyze and overreact about most things. But I like to think of it as reacting in a perfectly normal amount because it shows that I care and have strong feelings about something (that is what I tell myself to feel better about my bursts of emotion! ha!). Seriously though, I am down right furious over this issue and I cannot stop thinking about it! My sisters (who I haven't spoken with since before Christmas...they are not very nice, supportive people) think that if I was planning to name our future non-existant baby after my Uncle, I should have told my cousin. "Urgh!! Seriously??" (I promise, that's the last one!). That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! How on EARTH would I ever think that she would name her baby after my uncle?? I guess it is my duty to claim a name and then anytime anyone gets pregnant, I am to make sure that they are aware not to name their baby our 'dibbed' name. Man, they are so friggin clueless!
I just don't get people. I really used to think that I was quite good at figuring people out, but honestly that has not been the case over the last few years, especially in the world of TTC. At least once a week I think to myself: the world is truly full of idiots, and common sense is not all that common. But maybe I am just overreacting and being a jealous whiner and should just be happy for my cousin. I'm sure that no one could ever convince me of the case, but I just hate feeling so angry at everything all the time, and hating that nothing seems to go my way.
I better go dig out my big wine glass. And chocolate. My two best friends on a night like this!!!