Monday, April 11, 2011

Urgh!! Seriously??

This is a 'why me?' pity post, but dammit, I need to vent!! I have been trying to process this all day and can't get it out of my mind, so may as well put it on, computer screen?

Last year my cousin (on my Mom's side) and her husband decided to start trying to get pregnant, and even though she was over 35, she got pregnant within 3 months of trying. My first "Urgh!! Seriously??" That alone was a tough pill to swallow, but I eventually got used to it. So she just had her baby girl last Friday and I heard today from my Mom that they decided to name her Honey Daniella Skye but they are going to call her Daniella. She is apparently be named after my Uncle Danny who died suddenly of a heart attack last July, apparently the weekend this baby was conceived. Cue the 2nd: "Urgh!! Seriously??"

Now, here are my issues with this: my Uncle is on my Dad's side and though he was really good to my cousin, they had only met a handful of times throughout her life, so I think it is a bit weird to not only just give her middle name to tribute my uncle, but have it be her first name. But my real issue is that Hubs and I were going to do that: honour my Uncle with naming our baby (if we ever friggin have one!!) after him. Obviously we can't do it now - that would look ridiculous! And for the rest of our lives, everyone is going to go on and on about how what a nice gesture that was of my cousin and how this baby is named after someone so wonderful. And for the rest of my life, I'll be totally pissed that my thunder was taken away from me.

I am quite sure that I am overreacting about this...I have a tendency to analyze and overreact about most things. But I like to think of it as reacting in a perfectly normal amount because it shows that I care and have strong feelings about something (that is what I tell myself to feel better about my bursts of emotion! ha!).  Seriously though, I am down right furious over this issue and I cannot stop thinking about it! My sisters (who I haven't spoken with since before Christmas...they are not very nice, supportive people) think that if I was planning to name our future non-existant baby after my Uncle, I should have told my cousin. "Urgh!! Seriously??" (I promise, that's the last one!). That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! How on EARTH would I ever think that she would name her baby after my uncle?? I guess it is my duty to claim a name and then anytime anyone gets pregnant, I am to make sure that they are aware not to name their baby our 'dibbed' name. Man, they are so friggin clueless!

I just don't get people. I really used to think that I was quite good at figuring people out, but honestly that has not been the case over the last few years, especially in the world of TTC. At least once a week I think to myself: the world is truly full of idiots, and common sense is not all that common. But maybe I am just overreacting and being a jealous whiner and should just be happy for my cousin. I'm sure that no one could ever convince me of the case, but I just hate feeling so angry at everything all the time, and hating that nothing seems to go my way.

I better go dig out my big wine glass. And chocolate. My two best friends on a night like this!!!


  1. Oh I would be furious too! Just like I will be furious if my sister-in-law gets knocked up with her THIRD child before I even get the chance to conceive my FIRST! I'm sorry about your cousin. If I were you I never would have thought that she would name her child after your Uncle, especially if they weren't close.

  2. How frustrating! I can see why you're upset. Go ahead and enjoy that wine and chocolate. Did you know they actually make a chocolate wine? My favorite!


  3. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I would be irritated too. I was so relieved when my sister-in-law announced on the day of their positive HPT, to all family and friends, via Facebook, that they were naming their baby Taylor - regardless of what the sex of the baby was. Taylor was not a name I was going to big "phew!" Had it been one of the names that I am saving, as they are derivatives of my deceased grandmother's name, I don't know what I'd do.

  4. That's tough. I would react as well that's for sure. I'm sorry this happened, one could think you had enough already! Hugs.

  5. i would be frustrated too. but you CAN still use that name! what better tribute to your loved one than to have not one but TWO babies named after him!? my niece is named mattie, after her paternal great-grandmother. she has a cousin also named for the same great-grandmother. they both go by mattie, but the family distinguishes between them by calling them mattie jean and mattie caroline.

  6. Absolutely relate to this post. A close friend and I started ttc in April 2009, her daughter is almost 1, and Im am still going. She named her daugher Indy.. and I had Indie for a girl. Broke my heart, its just more proof that there is no prize for second. I hope your cousin used the name Daniella for the right reasons, and not for the 'pat on the back' so to say..
    Your baby will be wayyy cuter, thats what gets me through, oh, that and wine & chocolate!


  7. My sister called her son a name I wanted to use in honour of a relative. Even thought he was born waaay before I was even thinking of ttc, I still irrationally get annoyed about it occasionally - not so much a drawback of being infertile but of being the youngest!

    Hope you're feeling better.

  8. Hi there,
    Hope you are alright. I left an award for you to pick up at mine if you like.

  9. I can absolutely relate. My husband's cousin just had a baby boy and named him Andrew--our boy name. While I know it is a common name and was unknown to the family, it still doesn't make it any easier to swallow. (Especially when first and last name is the same!) I keep telling my husband we can just name our eventual baby "Andrew the Second". He is not amused. Sorry you're having to go through this on top of everything else. It is definitely not easy. Sending hugs your way!

  10. Also, just read that you're looking forward to IUIs this summer. If everything goes well, we should have our first one next cycle. Would love to hear how these go for you. I am a bit nervous for all of it, from injections, to progesterone suppositories, to the procedure itself. Sucks that we have to go through this, but at least we know we're not alone! Best of luck!

  11. Just popping in to check how your summer went! Hope the IUIs went well!