Over the last many, many months, I have received tons of advice on how to get pregnant...whether I wanted it or not!
Some of my absolute favourites:
- Why don't you just get drunk?
I can't tell you the number of people who tell me to do this! I should just start carrying around a flask or a brown paper bag with some Wisers and stay in a daily drunken stupor!
- Just go on vacation!
Well that would be lovely and believe me when I say how more than willing I would be to go on vacation. It's just too bad that our backyard money tree is burried by so much snow!
- Do you want to borrow my 2-year old for the weekend? Then maybe you'll reconsider!
This one just offends me! Not a month goes by where a friend won't make this offer to me. So you're saying that your child's behaviour is so heinous that you think it would make me reconsider my dream of being a mom and having my own family? I am clearly aware that children cry, and are messy, and don't always do what you want. Doesn't mean I don't want my own.
- Just don't think about it!
Ok, don't think about your tongue then... what are you thinking about now???
- Why don't you just adopt? Once you adopt then you'll definitely get pregnant
This is not a helpful suggestion at all. Firstly, adoption is a LONG, expensive process. You don't just throw your name on a list and wait for the phone to ring. I don't take the thought of adoption very lightly, and definitely wouldn't adopt just to trick my body into getting pregnant.
- Are you sure you're doing it right?
This is my favourite, which is where the name of the blog came from. Seriously though, think about that question. What exactly are you asking me here? That is a completely different topic on a completely different and more racey forum! But there is no respectable answer to this question. And ya know what? I've been baby-dancing for quite a while now, and not to sound slutty, but I have been having sex for quite a number of years, so ya, I'm pretty sure we're doing it right!!!
If anyone is out there, let me know what sort of horrible advice you've received over the months/years of TTC.