Saturday, January 29, 2011

Why don't you try...

Over the last many, many months, I have received tons of advice on how to get pregnant...whether I wanted it or not!

Some of my absolute favourites:
- Why don't you just get drunk?
I can't tell you the number of people who tell me to do this! I should just start carrying around a flask or a brown paper bag with some Wisers and stay in a daily drunken stupor!

- Just go on vacation!
Well that would be lovely and believe me when I say how more than willing I would be to go on vacation. It's just too bad that our backyard money tree is burried by so much snow!

- Do you want to borrow my 2-year old for the weekend? Then maybe you'll reconsider!
This one just offends me! Not a month goes by where a friend won't make this offer to me. So you're saying that your child's behaviour is so heinous that you think it would make me reconsider my dream of being a mom and having my own family? I am clearly aware that children cry, and are messy, and don't always do what you want. Doesn't mean I don't want my own.

- Just don't think about it!
Ok, don't think about your tongue then...  what are you thinking about now???

- Why don't you just adopt? Once you adopt then you'll definitely get pregnant
This is not a helpful suggestion at all. Firstly, adoption is a LONG, expensive process. You don't just throw your name on a list and wait for the phone to ring. I don't take the thought of adoption very lightly, and definitely wouldn't adopt just to trick my body into getting pregnant.

- Are you sure you're doing it right?
This is my favourite, which is where the name of the blog came from. Seriously though, think about that question. What exactly are you asking me here? That is a completely different topic on a completely different and more racey forum! But there is no respectable answer to this question. And ya know what? I've been baby-dancing for quite a while now, and not to sound slutty, but I have been having sex for quite a number of years, so ya, I'm pretty sure we're doing it right!!!

If anyone is out there, let me know what sort of horrible advice you've received over the months/years of TTC.


  1. Just ran across your blog through LFCA. Just began my blog too, and I agree it is a wonderful way to occupy my ever analyzing mind! Hope you find the support you are looking for here in the blogging world!

    I will chime in on agreeing that the advice just relax is the most obnoxious comment one can give to a TTCer, no matter where they are along their journey. (This is probably a runner up, though to the irksome question, "So you've been trying for awhile now, why aren't you pregnant?" Really?
    I wish I could relax during all this, not try, as they say. But, how can you be trying to conceive and stop trying? I just don't comprehend this.

    Good luck in fighting off those comments and glad to hear you're doing it right! lol : )

  2. Here through LFCA.

    While not in the same situation as you (stillbirth), I've heard some of these and OH MY GOSH the comments about borrowing someone else's kid are SO RUDE. Also comments about it being "God's will" are very insulting.

    "Are you sure you're doing it right?" Classic!

  3. bean dreams - so glad you found my blog! I can appreciate a fellow newbie blogger & will check yours out too. We can vent and cry together, and keep searching for those 2 pink lines.

    AnnaMarie - thanks for the follow! I am so sorry to hear about your story. I cannot even imagine. You're right about the "God's will" comments - I always knew there were a lot of stupid people out there...just didn't realize so many of them would be giving advice!!

  4. Haha yeah the wise and good advice right. I was also very naive in the beginning.. thought it would happen sooner than later.

    Best wishes and welcome to the blogging community.

  5. All the advice - if that is what we can actually call it - is awful! People clearly have no idea how painful this experience is or they would keep their "advice" to themselves.

  6. "Just give it time, it will happen"

    I like that one a lot. Apparently the 7mo of intense TTC and fertility meds, etc were wasted. Who knew all we needed to do is wait and bam - pregnant!

    I also just recently started blogging about our dealings with IF. I wish you great luck and 2 lines very soon!

  7. "Stop stressing and it'll happen."

    Oh, is that all it takes?

    After years on this journey, anyone who's had any trouble conceiving can tell you it's impossible to stop stressing. Those that say that have no idea.

  8. LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog..Just found it today, and hope to catch up reading this weekend. This post resonates to me to the point that I think i need to write something like this on my blog for my family and friends who are like broken records with all of the "You know what you should do's" on getting pregnant..look, if it were that easy, we'd have a gaggle of kids, alright? LOL..

  9. Thanks again everyone!!
    Brie - thanks for the compliments! Welcome to my mind! ha! I would love to be able to send some of these to my friends/family who make these ridiculous suggestions and have the validation from others in the comments section. Maybe people would learn to just shut the hell up! haha!

  10. Hi.. I'm quite a new blogger too and enjoying sharing and reading other's experiences :)

    I got the drinking one too.. a friend recommended vodka cocktails in particular! And she's a normally very sensitive, tactful friend!

    What got me was when an OBGYN told me to 'relax and it will just happen'... since found out that it very probably won't happen naturally - surely Drs should know better than to say this stuff?!