And the Oscar Goes To….

Um… ME!!!!

The Academy Awards are on tonight and I’ve been watching some of the Red Carpet, reviewing Oscar nominees and thinking a lot about acting. Ok, Natalie Portman was amazing in Black Swan, but I have had my own moments of Oscar-worthy acting over the last 2 ½ years. I know every other gal who has been TTC can relate to those moments of false happiness and fake smiles. And if you’re like me, then you have also perfected the “Oh my God – that is so exciting!!” phrase.

I’ve been through so many moments at restaurants or out for coffee where a friend reveals that she is pregnant, and I am forced to finish my meal with a phony smile pasted on my face, pretending to be so excited for my friend.  Meanwhile, all I want to do is ask for the cheque and get the hell out of there so I can go home and bawl my eyes out.  But I ask all the questions that you’re supposed to ask: “how have you been feelings? Any funny food cravings? Will you find out the sex?” What I really want to ask is? “Will you continue to rub that in my face for the next 9 months? Will you complain about being pregnant and gain weight? Will you ‘forget’ how to have any conversations that do not revolve around your pregnancy?”  

So here’s my speech, as I accept the Oscar for “Ecstatic ‘Reproductively Challenged’ Friend”:

Wow! I am so surprised and grateful for this award! I first have to thank my ovaries and uterus for not cooperating and not doing their jobs to get me pregnant. I know you work hard to play keep-away with Hubs’ sperm and prevent me from getting pregnant. I also want to thank 14 of my friends who have announced their pregnancies over the last 2 ½ years, who have allowed me to practice my art of acting excited and happy for yet another person getting pregnant before me. I just can’t wait to be an Autie, yet again!

Ok, so that's Sandra Bullock accepting her Oscar, but you get the picture!