It’s a day I’ve been dreading for months. I just didn’t expect to be at this point when I got here. I have been realizing over the last few years how unfair life can be, and how things just do not happen as you want them to. But turning 33 is just such an ugly number to me. This just has not gone to plan at all! I was supposed to have 3 children by now – or at least 2 of them and be ready for the 3rd. But here I sit, still waiting for number 1. I hate the thought of turning another year older and still no baby. And it’s hard to watch all my friends go on to have baby after baby, without any trouble at all.
So my plan is to spend the day with large amounts of alcohol!! I plan to definilely drown my sorrows in booze. Lots and lots o’ booze! I’ve got my big wine glass ready for the day…and a few shot glasses too!
I don’t know how people keep from playing the time game. I am always calculating when my due date would be, should I get pregnant each cycle. And how old I’d be at that time. So to hit yet another birthday without the joy of announcing a pregnancy is just devastating to me. I’m going to try to do my best and not bawl my eyes out (that was how I spent my 30th!!) and just focus on the good things in my life. I’m sure the drinks will help!
I hope I’m not the only one who whines on my birthday! Anyone else have some ideas on how to pretend my 33rd is just another day?~ A