Monday, February 21, 2011

Square One




Back to it… sitting here with a glass of wine instead of reading a book on pregnancy shows how my weekend went.  Yet another month without those 2 pink lines. You would think after so many months of disappointment that I would be a little more used to it. Guess not. Those last couple of days before my period is ‘expected’ to show, like everyone else, I am at my most hopeful. I am paying attention to every single twinge or new feeling: Hmmm...I’m tired a little earlier tonight, maybe that means I’m pregnant! My sense of smell is so strong these last couple of days, maybe that means I’m pregnant! Then when my period arrives, I feel like an idiot for even thinking I could have been pregnant.
Frustration!!!!
I feel like I’ve tried so many things throughout these last 2 ½ years. I haven’t yet begun any fertility procedures (IUI, IVF etc.) but I feel like I have tried everything else. Everything! I came across this list online and thought it was so perfect:


I especially love the Bad Advice column – laughed at all of those! In all seriousness though, this is actually a very realistic list! I really have tried most of the things on it.
I think that our next step is IUI. I am pretty sure Hubs and I are going to get started on that in the summer. I just keep hoping that it will happen on its own before then. I just need to believe that something will work, and feel like I have tried so much that doesn’t.
Poor Hubs…aside from the moodiness of PMS, he has to deal with the extreme low of CD1. Blah!  

7 comments:

  1. Sorry you didn't get that BFP :( Here's hoping you get it before the summer :) Love the infertility checklist though!! Particularly the crying part, because I cry at just about anything anyway, so this IF stuff has only made that worse!

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  2. Sorry you're having a rough time. I HATE CD1-12ish, nothing happening but bad stuff! But at least you can enjoy that glass of wine guilt free! I also love the checklist, I'm pretty sure I've done 90% of those...

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  3. Then we are at the same place. It's crazy after 2,5 years that hope is still so strong. Even when told we need help. I could easily have wrote this myself. Hope you feel a bit better today.

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  4. Sorry to hear you got the unwelcomed visitor. I've seen that checklist before and still love it! Enjoy an extra glass for me; I think I just started my 2ww.

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  5. Love that chart! I could have written it myself at this point. Hope things start to look up for you very soon.

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  6. Aw I'm sorry hun! I always go straight for the wine on CD1 too! It's a small consolation.

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  7. So very sorry you didn't get the BFP this time around. It's not really much of a consolation prize at all but I do hope you enjoyed that glass of wine. That checklist cracked me up when I saw it the first time too - so very true!

    Good luck with the IUI or however you decide to proceed.

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